Remember, Katniss
by LoveStoryMermaid
Summary: Immediately after the end of Catching Fire. Katniss receives a letter from someone she lost long ago, but that gives her hope again.


AN/Diclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games, Catching Fire, or any of its characters. "Katniss, remember I" and "As long as you can find yourself, you'll never starve" are direct quotes from The Hunger Games and "We'll write letter's, Katniss" is a direct quote from Catching Fire. Just a short little fanfic, I actually managed a one-shot, in anticipation for Mockingjay's release, but reminding Katniss of who she is and how strong she really is.

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**Remember, Katniss**

After Gale tells me about District 12, our home, he stays with me for a couple of minutes, but then perhaps thinks I want to be alone for a little while, which is true. I need time to accept this, if I ever can. I've lost so much, my trust in Haymitch, my father, Peeta, and now my home, and very possibly old friends, and the strength that has kept me and my family alive for so long. How long can something like that last? It has to give out as some point, but I couldn't before, there'd been no option. Now I could, they could fight without me, Gale can lead them. I've already given so much, how can they expect me to keep going? Besides, at this point, with so much I love gone or threatened, I'm a weakness, a liability rather than an asset, hurt both physically and emotionally. I really think that lash out at Haymitch was the last I had. Even now, I hear him call for Gale. Vaguely, I feel revulsion that he and Gale are on speaking terms, obviously more so than him and me, but I can't find it in me to care that much. I barely shake my head, and even that, with so much that has happened, could have been about anything. But, whatever it is, it didn't take long. I hear a knock on my door and don't answer, I'm not sure I could and it wouldn't matter to Haymitch. He's probably come to yell at me for my earlier reaction and tell me I'm worthless. I would take it. Not necessarily because I feel I may deserve it, but because I don't have it in me to talk to him, even argue with him, with anyone. So, I barely lift my head when the door cracks open, and get ready for it. But, if it is Haymitch, he's awfully quiet. I look up and can't bring myself to smile, but I'm glad he's back. It's not Haymitch. It's Gale, but he has something small and rectangular in his hand. It was probably once white, but, I can see there's a small tear in the bottom, and it's grayed. I just look up at him, at what he has, questioningly.

Gale gives a hint of a smile, for a second, but then says, holding it out to me, "It's for you. He didn't think you'd want to see him, and so he thought it would be better if instead I gave it to you. It looks like a letter."

I barely register how Gale seems to know I don't need or want to hear his name to know who he's talking about. All I can think is, a letter? For me? _Now_? Who could it possibly be fro…? I feel tears prick my eyes and my breathing grow shallow as I realize who it's probably from and remember the distant, sweet voice, trying to comfort me after the reaping, "We'll write letters, Katniss." Peeta, a voice I'd probably never hear again. Of course he wrote them, and made one to me. It doesn't really surprise me, but I'm not ready for it, for this. I'm not sure if I can read it right now.

Gale looks at me when I don't take it, but he must see that I half want to, because he gently places it in my hands. I nod and shakily open it. Gale turns to leave, to give me privacy to read it, but for some reason, maybe because I don't think I can read this by myself, I call, "No, stay," and then realize he might not want to and add, "If you want."

Gale nods and comes back over to me as I hate myself. If the letter is from Peeta, it's not fair to ask him to stay. But, as I finally get the stupid piece of paper out and make out the heading, while he could have addressed me like that, it doesn't seem likely, even for him. No. No, it's not possible. At first, I don't even read the letter, so dirty and in places, smudged. I scan down for the closing signature. And take a sharp, deep breath, nearly dropping the letter and feel the tears prick again as I read the impossible name, only three letters. It's not from Peeta.

Gale sees my reaction and wonders, "Katniss?"

I look at him, my expression unchanged, as I barely get out, "It's a letter from my father."

Gale tries to hide his surprise and emotions behind his face at my words, but can't quite. Perhaps he wonders why his father didn't leave one for him. I vaguely wonder it, too. But, all I can think about are those three letters my dad signed. Why give this to me now? Why not earlier? Almost in a daze, I begin to really read it:

_My dearest Katniss,_

_I don't have long to write this. Soon we will be out of air, but I am lucky enough to be good friends with my crew and to have the luck of one of them always carrying a pen and paper and to be in a position to be able to manage to still write. He knows me and our family, though you may not have taken note of him. But, that doesn't matter now, just that he has been kind enough to allow me the use of them today. Katniss, there is so much for you to know and learn. So much I wish I could be there to tell you when the time comes. But, most importantly, and that I know you will never forget, is to always know how very much I love you and Prim and your mother. Never forget that and I'll always be with you in your memories. Katniss, I have no way of knowing for certain what the future will bring, but if I know anything of President Snow and our way of life, it will never be easy. But, my dear Katniss, in that remember, we've gotten by, but it has never been easy. We've always had to work. That won't be anything new. My heart breaks, though, as I think what this day will do to you, Prim, and your mother. If I know her at all, I am so afraid this day will break her, leaving you to take my place, so young. I hope with all my heart that is not the case, but I am so sorry for having to leave you all like this. But, our world has never been a fair place. But, enough of that. I know you know it._

_Katniss, what is most important that you never forget, though you are so young and soon you will be eligible for the reaping, is yourself and who you really are. As a father, and for your mother and Prim's sake, even yours, I hope you never have the luck to be called. Yet, as still your father, but more a point of strength and a leader, I need you to always remember your heart. Katniss, I remember when I took you into the woods and taught you what I knew of useful plants, hunting, and pointing out your namesake to you. I remember what I told you, "As long as you can find yourself, you'll never starve." Dearest Katniss, I meant what I told you then, but on more than the original meaning. As you long as you can find yourself, I didn't just mean the plant. Katniss, never forget who you are. You are my daughter, whom I have taught to hunt and forage. You have a strength in you that many do not. You may not see it, but I do, so does Greasy Sae, and Gale. Yes, I know you pretend not to take much notice of him, but I've seen your glances, you've always looked away before you could see the way he looked back at you. But, he's not the only one. Peeta, that son of the baker. Now and then, when I'd take you along to trade, even more than Gale, I've seen that boy never take his eyes off of you. How I wish I could be there to see which one of them eventually steals your heart. But, Katniss, if you ever need reminding, just ask them, ask your friends. We all know how strong you are. Never forget that. For, I fear, that maybe not right away, they'll want this accident long and forgotten, but that you won't be able to avoid the reaping and, if so, those Games have a way of spiraling your life out of control. I've taught you how to survive in the woods, and you have the strength and ingenuity to survive. Certainly physically, but mentally as well, because that's who you are: I can see in you the determination to never want to let anyone down. But, in that, it isn't always possible, and I could never prepare you for the heartache of failure in that. But, you can't let that make you give up. Look to yourself if you ever find yourself there. Think back to all the times we shared. And there you will see for yourself how strong that spirit of yours is, as bright and fierce as fire itself. Look to yourself, and eventually you will believe it, even if you don't at first. For, if that time ever comes, you would have had to have been awfully strong for them to push you that far, far enough that they've learned they can't break you physically, so they have to try your heart. You can't let them, and when you believe in yourself, they won't._

_My dearest Katniss, you should know, too, that I doubt this truly was an accident. Never tell your mother this, Prim only when she is much older and ready to accept it. We had orders today to go deeper into the mine than before, they said that there were barely any veins left where we normally dug. That's not true, as is many of the things they tell us, as I fear you will find out all too well, but, here, we've tried our best to go against them, but we finally came to the point where we had no choice. Well, you always have a choice, but the other option would have been to stand up and refuse, but here, now, that would only have confirmed in their heads that we are a point of dissent and we would have been killed immediately. This way, we at least had a shot, though slim. Remember that, though. You always have a choice, even if it doesn't seem like it. Remember, Katniss, to never give up. Keep fighting. Like our mockingjays did. Katniss, you should know now, too, that they would have been right. We have been trying to cause unrest. But, like the Games, it's a deadly game to play, and someone has to lose. Our crew tried to keep me from it, for they knew the risks for all involved, and knew I had a young family, but I couldn't let them. It was a chance, a chance now that may, for a while, be extinguished, but that I'd be surprised if it didn't rise again. You may be too young at eleven to understand why I would risk so much, but I hope that as you get older, you will understand and not blame me for it. But, this is my reason, which may, if fate be so obstinate to not give this up, become yours, too: Yes, I've tried to fight for others, but more so for them, through myself. I've fought so that we can be free and safe. To end these Games, the Hunger Games, but all of the trickery and deception that comes from the Capitol. To end it all once and for all, back to what we hear of in stories of the old days: peace and freedom, true safety and trust._

_Katniss, you may not think much of him, indeed he was never my favorite either, but he was a vital part of this and there is more to him than meets the eye. Haymitch knew of this, don't blame him for keeping it from you, it was unnecessary and too much of a risk for you to know, so young, but perhaps once you get older. He tends to have his own agenda, but we found common ground in hating the Capitol, and he'll keep it up for me. He'll know what to do when the news reaches you, know that we won't have left without a message._

_Katniss, remember all of what you know. What I have now told you. Who you are inside, so strong a spirit. Why we have fought, and may well fight again. I think you'll know that, if the time comes. We fight because despite what they say, there is no justification in the Games, the power show, the treatment and estrangement between the districts, of the people. So young, you've already seen it, though, some of it. How people die in the street of starvation and they call it old age or exposure. We fight because no one has a right to be treated like that, with lies and deprivation, and so much more. No matter what anyone has done, no matter who they are, though, if you find in them a common hate against this, you can get along with them. You may think you can't, think you may be strong, but not strong enough, not the courage, which can be different, to do it, to get along with someone and fight together. But, Katniss, remember, you've always had it. Courage isn't something that comes to you, it's always there. You just have to be willing to acknowledge it. Remember, as long as you can find yourself, you'll never starve, you'll never not have a reason to fight weak enough to make you give up, because you never do. I've seen it in you, already, so young, as you learned so quickly the plants and asked about every little thing. Remember I love you, and love combined with courage, your spirit, your strength, your capabilities, and your determination, is a weapon more powerful than most that people could use against you. Because, when you put that all together, you know what you have to do, you know who you are._

_I love you all always,_

_Dad_

By the end of the letter I am crying. Not loudly, but softly. But, he's given me hope again. For so many reasons. First, just that I have this letter from him, that of all the people lost, they let him use his friend's pen and paper to write to me. Of course I remember that day when he showed me my namesake. But, now, I see what else he meant. He was right, that however much he tried, he could have never prepared me for this and that it would get harder, spiral out of control. He was right, that when he first mentioned my strength and courage I couldn't quite believe him, but then he mentioned to look back on it all, and then look to my friends if I still couldn't see it. But, I can, and not just because of his words alone. The memories of him teaching me help, and then realizing the truth of how strong I have had to be to make it this far helps, but, he's reminded in his words of Gale and Cinna, even Peeta. Gale, the first time my name was called, when I volunteered for Prim and he had come to say goodbye. The Peacekeepers had pulled him away, but not before he said, "Katniss, remember I," he never got the chance to finish, but my father's words to me to remember are so similar. Cinna, who once mentioned my spirit, how no one could help but admire it, and who, highlighting my father's words, made me into fire. Peeta, as my dad flat out mentioned. I couldn't help but smile there a bit. It was such a dad thing, wondering that, noticing that, when I never had. Even Haymitch…I don't want to like him right now, but my dad is right there, too. We do both hate the Capitol, and in that I think we can get along just well enough to work together once more. I smiled, though, at my dad's opinion of him.

I'm amazed at how much he thought about and got. He could never have known what was to come, as he said, but he could guess that it would get hard, and it seemed he had tried to fight back, so it wasn't that surprising that he hoped and thought that chance would come again, again like Gale had said. We just have to be willing to take it. And so we will. My dad was right, again, that some of what he had to say I knew, I just needed to be reminded of it, like why we fight. I remember realizing that now back before the Quell, when my mother and Prim were tending to Gale. And now my father's memories and his faith in me have given me hope again, have reminded me who I really am. I can do this. I _will_ do this. Like our mockingjays and like him, I will fight back and lead, for me, for Prim, for Rue, for Gale, for everyone, just like my father.

I've calmed down now, stopped crying too, whispered once, though I know he can't hear, "I don't blame you and I understand why you did it," and then there's a trace of a smile, a hope, on my face, as I offer the letter to Gale and say, "It really is addressed to me, but you may want to read the first lines and third paragraph, at the very least the beginning of the third."

Gale nods, reading only the parts I mentioned and looks up when he's done and the same small smile that is on my face is in his, hope, and the comfort my dad has given him, too. The comfort of knowing, for certain, what happened that day, and the strength and hope to remember why we fight and that we will carry on.


End file.
